THIS MESS I'M IN ( WHAT I AM)

this mess I'm in seems to concern
the whole universe, the whole universe
and I don't know what else this night
has put aside for me, aside for me
this mess I'm in that makes me wish
I was made to quit, but I'm made to fight
swim in a sea that's my prison made of all the feelings I hide

though I don't care
although I don't seem to recognize
the icy light still burning in my eyes
I'm messin it all up again
I'm stuck in this defeaning pain
silence

this mess I'm in seems to be shaped
on the nightmare I've tried to shatter
you're there, in a parallel mirror
to reflect the worthless dreams I have, all I am

though I don't care
although I don't seem to recognize
the icy light still burning in my eyes
I'm messin it all up again
I'm stuck in this defeaning pain
silence

I'm just asking for silence
wonder where it's gone
it's not hiding here with me
has it come to visit you?

(written 2 years ago, when I was dead)